Thin My Soul

So fuck.

Haha something on my other blog has well over 1000 notes…. Awesome XD

Things that make me get all anti myself:

-Fighting with my Mother or Brother.

-My room being a mess

-My school work being behind

-Having bad school

-Being stressed

At the moment all of these are occurring and I am just angry at the world. Feel free to ignore my self pity filled rants that will follow.

Feeling really fat again. I am not happy. I decided I should accept myself for what I am etc and because I am not “overweight” I need to stop obsessing and be happy with myself the way I am, but this is very hard to do, and now I find myself in front of the mirror insulting myself more than before, feeling angrier and stroppier and this really is not a very productive, albeit motivating use of my time.

One of my thinsirations (No names because they follow this blog) is going through a tough time too and i just read all of her recent blog entries to try and find some motivtion to sort my shit out but even that isn’t working, it just turns into a pit party in my head.

I need to get a grip.

I am working and studying both full time now, I have to eat at work though which is a problem cos it is pub food and i have no idea the calorie values etc. I think I will just bring raw fruit and vege with me instead.

Also.

Any one got any good infused teas to suggest? I am bored at the moment with my current selections.

I know I am not “fat” so please don’t reply with that kinda thing. I am not at a comfortable weight for me and therefore in my eyes, I am fat. I am not saying my size is viewed as fat just bigger than i need to be. I am a “Healthy looking girl” at the moment, healthy being said in that tone the older generation would use to mean slightly big, comfortable sized.

Suggest tea?  

thinnnn:

Vegetables:

• Zucchini
• Turnips
• Spinach
• Radish
• Onion
• Lettuce
• Green beans
• Garlic
• Garden cress
• Endive
• Cucumber
• Hot chili peppers
• Dandelion
• Celery
• Cauliflower
• Cucumber
• Carrot
• Green cabbage
• Broccoli
• Beets
• Asparagus

Fruits:

• Watermelon
• Tomato
• Tangerines
• Strawberries
• Raspberries
• Pineapple
• Papaya
• Peaches
• Oranges
• Mango
• Honey dew melons
• Grape fruit
• Cranberry
• Cantaloupe
• Blueberry
• Apples

(Source: the-l0nely-bones)

Hey guys

Sorry sorry sorry

I am sorry I haven’t been on here.

I have had so much on.

Update:

Okay, a lot of drama really. My mother had a rant cos she thought I was skinny, still didnt have scales, so i don’t know my weight, but i did look a lot smaller.

So recently I have been eating what I am told cos I don’t want to upset my Mother, I did start trying to lose weight in an unhealthy way, and it upset my mum. So I have been eating whatever I am told.

Now i am huge.

I am back to 59kg and i feel awful about myself.

I weighed myself while I was at my grandparents house today and nearly cried.

SO.

I am going to go back to deciding what I eat myself.  I am not going to starve myself like I was, but i am ONLY going to eat healthy things. Also, I am possibly getting more work (Bar work and waitressing) would then be 4 or 5 nights a week, and it really is quite physical so that will be super helpful.

I am also going to get back into using the total gym and running.

I hate looking big. I can’t even wear a waist belt without looking revolting.

Statistics.

5’4  (164.5cm)

130lbs (59kg)

How are you guys all going?